Nabisco Joe (raisedbyturtles) wrote in murder_me,
Nabisco Joe

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Fire fighters....Gah

Just when I thought everything was calming down. Just when I thought I could be happy. I had a smile on my face when I woke up this morning. My hubby was cooking up my favourite meal. Uncle Ben's Tuna and Beef Breakfast Logs and Aunt Juanda's Syrup-Soaked Sogtaost. I was sitting at the table reading my newspaper and the smile ran off my face. My hubby's eyes grew big and he knew to get out of that kitchen fast. The veins in my receding forehead popped out and my face turned beat red. My hands started shaking as I gripped the newspaper in utter horror and disbelief. My hubby was already getting his jacket on and heading for the front door. he grabbed our son Toby One by the arm screaming some obscenities and how he isn't coming back this time. My cereal bowl shattered in pieces all over the front door where my Husband's head was just a second before. I looked back at the newspaper. I couldn't fucking believe it. It was driving me mad. My eyes went cross-eyed and started squashing out of my head like I was the Play-Do Fun Factory. My top was steaming and sizzling my hair like bacon. This was too much for me to take. I was grinding my teeth into powder as I read the front page. It showed a picture of this schmuck firefighter with a big smirk on his plastic face. Grinning at me. Grinning at me, goddammit! In his left arm he held a fire hose. In his right arm he held some child with black all over her face. My head was so hot I was melting into putty. I was going nuts before my very eyes. How the fuck could this be?!? About the time I read the caption is when I threw up all over myself. It said Local Firefighter Saves Girl From Burning Building. I jumped up from my chair screaming at the Gods above. These motherfuckers ARE NOT heroes. They are nothing more than pussies in rubber boots. I started punching my plate in pieces. I want to fight every firefighter to the death and win. I'll take their ax right to their head and dice them into potato chips. FUCK! I am furious just thinking about them now! If there are any firefighters out there reading this, you better beware! I am coming and I will chop that smirk right off your ugly plastic face. Fight me!
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